your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
