It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I've blown a few things in my day
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
