Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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