Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We are two peas in an std pod
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize