I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
