Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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