I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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