Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
