i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just want nice things and good sex
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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