Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
it's like iHOP with fire
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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