There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
