Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
