Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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