She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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