Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
