he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
