the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
