guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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