After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
