thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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