omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
