Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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