I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have grass duct taped all over my body
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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