Pappa wants mamma naked
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Can you bring me the toilet please
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
