I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
