Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
