ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
how do you play pong handcuffed?
this hospital has no fireball
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
