you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
