I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
