Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
