i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he just fucked me for my cheese..
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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