I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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