remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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