I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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