It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
