i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize