He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
