I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize