My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
