i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
