I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
