there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
