ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i've created a new STD.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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