If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
God, I missed his penis.
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