i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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