If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
