I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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