Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize