Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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