Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
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Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think a kid would responsible me up
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
