he wants to bone in the snuggie
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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