Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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