do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
