I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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