Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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