His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
