Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize