we have pet lesbian snakes
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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