How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
