WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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