Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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