i barfeds in our rink
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
