she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
