Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize