it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Floor bacon is actually really good
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
